Monday, October 02, 2006

Mark Foley and Bill O'Reilly: Culture Warriors


"I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard . . . and then i would take your other hand with the falafel thing and i'd put it on your pussy."
-Bill O'Reilly

"how's my favorite young stud doing did you spank it this weekend where did you unload it cute butt bouncing in the air."
-Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.)

On Friday's Factor, Bill waited until late in the program to discuss the unfolding Mark Foley scandal. That quintessential O'Reilly outrage had somehow faded into the night and we were left with a rather subdued Bill:

"In the Impact Segment tonight, a very disturbing story. Republican Congressman Mark
Foley of Florida has resigned for sending a series of e-mails to a 16-year-old former congressional page.

Foley was a strong advocate of Jessica's Law and protecting children from predators,
now finds himself having to explain his relationship with a young boy.

O'Reilly later explained that, "Mark Foley is the co-chairman of the House Missing and Exploited Children Caucus. He's been on this program many times on FOX News Channel, often talking about protecting the kids."

We were still waiting for O'Reilly to go ballistic. After all, how would he have reacted if Howard Dean had been caught up in such a thing? O'Reilly spelled it out to Fox News' Major Garrett.

"Yes. You know, a real tragedy here, Major. I know you're just reporting and you don't comment as a reporter. But the real tragedy is that Foley did some good work, you know, getting the database up, the federal database to track child predators."

Sadly, Bill feels the real tragedy is that he has had Foley on the program multiple times and has propped him up as a fine example of a child protector, and now it turns out his fellow culture warrior may very well be whacking off to Garanimals ads. As for Foley's database, it’s a fine idea, but you’re not supposed to treat it like your own personal eHarmony.com.

"And now it's all gone. And there's deep suspicion on the part of a lot of people about politicians in Washington, even when they try to help the kids. I mean, that's the tragedy of this whole thing."

He concluded, "Yes. It is a depressing situation."

What the hell is O'Reilly talking about? We've never seen O’Reilly go this easy on a
newspaper publisher who declines to censure an editorial writer who defends a judge who gives a child predator less than 40 years breaking rocks in Guantanamo Bay. But now the best he can muster is, “It is a depressing situation.” Could it be that Bill so effortlessly groups people into insipid categories such as "culture warrior" and "secular-progressive," he simply doesn't know how to process it when one of his own falls from grace?

For a bit of perspective, let's take a look back at one of Foley's previous appearances on The Factor. Here are the two culture warriors fighting the S-P fanatics on the June 23, 2003 show:

"In the Impact Segment tonight, a Time magazine article spotlighted a Florida camp for kids that does not require clothing that has led to some controversy.

Joining us now from Washington, Congressman Mark Foley is running for Senate in
Florida. Mr. Foley is the co-chairman of the Congressional Missing and Exploited Children's Caucus."

REP. MARK FOLEY (R), FLORIDA: "Well Bill, we're talking about kids, impressionable young kids that are being put together in camps that I think are not only degrading to them, but dangerous to their well-being. People that are working around these camps, people that are peering through the fences can have significant ill intent. And so this is like putting a match next to a gas can. It's sooner or later going to explode and there'll be real dangerous consequences.

Foley later added, "Kids deserve protection. People that are under the age of 18 need supervision by someone who will look out for them."

You know, Foley’s right. Kids under 18 do need supervision. We thought we'd look at his particular brand of child protection by reviewing some of the text messages Foley sent to an underage male page, also in 2003. Let's just see how he looks out for the kids:

"did you spank it this weekend yourself"

Here the Republican from the great state of Florida seeks to build a rapport with the boy by discussing his weekend activities. Showing an interest in the boy is a key part of providing much-needed supervision.

"where do you unload it"

Again, Foley shows an in interest in the boy. By asking questions, he can really build that mentor relationship that is so important between members of the House of Representatives and their pages.

"cute butt bouncing in the air"

Building up the self-esteem of the minor is very important. Foley understands this. By complimenting the boy's ass, Foley shows that he appreciates him as a person.

"i always use lotion and the hand"

Now we start to see the mentorship aspect of the relationship. Now the boy can take some of what Foley has learned and apply it to his own circumstances, perhaps avoiding some of life’s great pitfalls…like not using lube.

"and grab the one eyed snake"

Gross. Seriously.

On the night after this interview aired, O'Reilly read a letter from one of his viewers.

Nancy Williamson, Naples, Florida: "I was recently at a nude camp. The youth were well supervised, well mannered, and comfortable with the environment. I challenge
Congressman Foley to visit."

Nancy, we believe Congressman Foley will accept your challenge.

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