Subject: Fwd: Teacher Arrested
NEW YORK -- Teacher arrested
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and
a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez
said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra
movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the
FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzalez said. They desire
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents
in a search of absolute value.
They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves
as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common
denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every
country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There
are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God
had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would
have given us more fingers and toes."
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