PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

If you are not over 50, this is what you have to look forward to.

>1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

>2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

>3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

>4. People call at 9pm and ask,"Dis I wake you"?

>5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

>6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

>7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

>8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.

>9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

>10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

>11. You no longer think of speed limits as challenge.

>12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the
room.

>13. You sing along with elevator music.

>14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

>15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

>16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather
service.

>17 Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them
either.

>18 Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.