by Doug Powers
The new CBS Evening News anchor kicked off her stint last night. Not long ago, Couric was saying that viewers want an hour-long evening news. Well, Katie certainly did prove that to be not the case, as apparently 22 minutes is more than enough time to not only cover the all the news in the world, but to also talk about Tom Cruise’s baby. What’s the extra half-hour for, Katie? So we can watch Tom change diapers and pray to L. Ron Hubbard that the baby doesn’t wet on his new tight black t-shirt?
Anyway, Couric ended the broadcast with a plea for help: she wants suggestions for a signature sign-off line, like other anchors before her.
The page on the CBS News site where you can send in your suggestions is here.
A few recommendations come to mind that would pique interest, such as:
“And that’s the way it’s Photoshopped…”
“Good night, and good head.”
“That’s the way the perky crumbles…”
“Time to go throw some change in Rather’s cup.”
“Suck it, Gumble.”
“I’m just tryin’ to find the bridge…has anybody seen the bridge?”
“Goodnight, Chet — Goodnight, David.”
“I’m off to get hit on by Andy Rooney.”
“Remember, if we work together, we’re not red states or blue states, but a big glob of magenta!”
“When it’s time to change, you’ve got to rearrange, who you are and what you’re gonna be.”
“This signature sign-off is sponsored by ________”
Actually, the sign-off I had in mind for Katie wouldn’t be verbal in nature, but rather more visual.
Wouldn’t this be perfect:
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