Bruce Rosen

I originally emailed this on September 8th, 2005. The next day, Brownie was relieved of command on the ground. I don't think there is a connection.


Let’s see. Because of tax cuts and Iraq, funding was cut in 2003 on a project which would have strengthened the levees protecting New Orleans. FEMA is headed by a political patronage appointee without any emergency management experience. Warnings were given to FEMA Director Michael Brown, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff and the President in the days before impact by many sources, including local and state authorities and the head of the National Hurricane Center, who warned of a probable levee breach and massive flooding.

On Saturday, two days before impact, Bush, Chertoff and Brown knew that a huge disaster was a strong possibility. Instead of immediately taking charge to make sure that massive preparation was going on, Bush continued his vacation and made two trips, one for political fundraising and another to promote his new Medicare plan. He finally got to the disaster area on Friday, five days after the storm hit. Even then the Federal presence was minimal.

While there the President praised the efforts of Michael Brown, saying “Brownie, you’re doing a heckuva job.” Most observers on the scene had said that FEMA was more a hindrance than a help up to that point. My question is what would Michael Brown have to do to get in trouble with the President?

Top Ten Things “Brownie” Could Do to Screw Up

10. Hire Cindy Sheehan as FEMA Public Relations Director.

9. Lease tankers to haul water from the Pacific in order to introduce “cool new fish” into New Orleans.

8. As bodies are collected, slap stickers on them saying: “George W. Bush kept me safe.”

7. Offer to train evacuees to judge Arabian horses explaining, “hey, it’s the only thing I now how to do.”

6. Issue orders saying “Darwin was right. Survival of the fittest. If they can’t help themselves, tough muffins.”

5. Organized visits to New Orleans presidential party spots.

4. After hearing Ann Coulter defend him exclaim, “Ann is definitely an incredible yarn spinner but she’s too skinny.”

3. Appeal to Hamas for immediate assistance.

2. Send Bourbon Street female impersonators on a Red State Church Tour.

1. Tell the media “Don’t blame me, blame Bush. He gave me the freakin’ job


Bruce Rosen