Burn, Baby, Burn - New York Times
The New York Times

February 7, 2006
Op-Ed Columnist

Burn, Baby, Burn
By
JOHN TIERNEY

Before I unveil my plan for energy independence, let me explain what's wrong
with everyone else's.

The problem with Americans is not that we're addicted to oil. As soon as oil
becomes more trouble than it's worth, we will sensibly stop putting it in
our
cars. Until then, our problem is that we're addicted to politicians with
plans for energy independence, like the Advanced Energy Initiative
introduced
by President Bush in his budget yesterday.

What exactly is so wrong with burning oil? The best argument is that it
contributes to global warming. But so does burning coal and other fossil
fuels.
The fairest and most efficient way to reduce greenhouse gas emissions would
be with a carbon tax on all fossil fuels.

But the advocates for energy independence want to do more than just regulate
emissions. Since Jimmy Carter put on his cardigan sweater and declared
saving
energy "the moral equivalent of war," politicians determined to wean us from
imported oil have been hectoring us with bogus arguments:

The well is running dry. Government planners have a long history of
overestimating the future cost of oil and underestimating the cost of their
pet alternatives
- which is why we keep burning oil. The government should finance basic
research, not pick winners and losers. If there's a better alternative to
oil in
the near future, don't expect it to be glimpsed by the politicians now
doling out subsidies to energy corporations and the corn farmers who vote in
the
Iowa caucuses.

America needs insurance against "oil shocks." Insurance doesn't make sense
if the premiums cost more than the disaster. Mandating fuel-economy
standards
saved gasoline and made Americans a little less vulnerable to a spike in oil
prices, but the rules led to smaller cars and an additional 2,000 deaths per
year in highway accidents from the mid-1970's to the mid-1990's, according
to the National Research Council.

Storing oil in the Strategic Petroleum Reserve was supposed to moderate the
economic damage of price spikes, but there's little evidence that it's ever
made any appreciable difference, according to a Cato Institute study by
Jerry Taylor and Peter Van Doren. They calculate that the reserve has cost
taxpayers
more per barrel than the oil itself has ever been worth - even in years when
the average price of oil was high, as in 1991 or last year.

We must take away the Middle East's "oil weapon." The only real oil weapon
is the one that American politicians use to justify energy plans and Middle
East
adventures. It doesn't matter if our enemies in the Persian Gulf refuse to
sell us oil directly. Once they sell it to anyone, it's in the global market
and effectively available to us.

The only way to hurt us would be to refuse to sell to anyone, but Middle
Eastern countries are far more dependent on oil than we are: their oil
revenues
constitute a much bigger percentage of their income than their oil
represents as a fraction of our imports.

If Osama bin Laden took over Saudi Arabia, why would he want to risk a
popular uprising from citizens suddenly cut off from their accustomed cut of
the
national income? Selling oil makes sense, as bin Laden himself acknowledged
when he said in an interview in 1996, "We are not going to drink it."

The United States spent decades propping up the shah of Iran only to see the
country fall into the hands of our archenemies, but Iran is still exporting
oil - and it is a lot more reliable producer than Iraq, despite all the
money and lives we've spent there. The best guarantee of future oil supplies
is
the sellers' greed, not our diplomatic and military efforts.

When something finally comes along that's cheaper and more reliable than
oil, no national energy plan will be necessary. Capitalists will be ready to
sell
it to eager American drivers. For now, the best strategy is to buy gasoline
and stop worrying that it's sinful or dangerous.

When you hear politicians calling you an addict and warning that you'll be
cut off, try my plan for energy independence. It's modeled on the Daily
Affirmation
of Stuart Smalley, that recovering addict and devotee of 12-step programs
(whose creator on "Saturday Night Live," Al Franken, will probably be
horrified).

After you fill up your tank, twist the rear-view mirror so you can gaze at
yourself. Repeat these words: "I'm good enough, I'm rich enough, and doggone
it, people in the Middle East like my money."

Posted by Miriam V.