Cheers and Jeers

by Bill in Portland Maine
Tue Feb 21, 2006 at 06:18:42 AM PDT
From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...

And now, a brief history of George W. Bush and his Republican Congress's record of "bipartisanship" over the past 5 years:

Democrats: We should fix the environment.
Republicans: Shut up!

We should make the Medicare prescription drug program better...
Sit down!

Can we at least let the federal government negotiate with drug companies to get lower prices?
Sit on my face and wriggle, assmunch!

Can we discuss the ramifications of the Patriot Act?
Eat our boogers!

Perhaps the deficit is getting a bit high and we should consider...
Considering is for losers!

But certainly we can agree that war-profiteering in Iraq must be stopped...
You know what needs to be stopped? Your mouth!

Ethics violations?
Sock puppets!

You know global warming is real. Can we at least discuss the Kyoto...
Kyo-NO!

Perhaps an exit strategy for Iraq?
Perhaps a sandpaper wedgie!?

Poverty?[Snort!] Poor people make lousy campaign contributors.
Deeee-nied.

Would you like to see our ideas on job-creation?
Would you like to see our ideas on sticking your head in a toilet?

Real Social Security reform?
Knee to the groin?

Basic equality for gays?
Fairy lovers.

Adequate funding for our VA hospitals?
Tch...they can deal with combat, they can deal with a little prostate cancer.

Making abortion safe, legal and, most important, rare?
Women...can't live with `em, can't imagine a threesome without `em!! Par-tay!!!!!!!

Safeguards against price-gouging by oil companies?
Let me think about that for a moment...um...No.

But polls show that Americans want...
Here's a pole. You know where to stick it.

And so it goes. As palpable as my frustration is with the Democratic leadership, I save my deepest contempt for the Republican leadership and the way they've destroyed any sense of equality, fairness and compassion for Americans.

They lie, they cheat, they steal. They bamboozle, they spin, they obfuscate.
They deceive, they stonewall, they bully. They're uncivil, unethical and unresponsive. It's in their DNA. All in the name of "drowning the federal government in the bathtub."

I'm no think-tank intellectual, nor am I a political scientist. But I know how to call bullshit. So, since I haven't done it in awhile: Frist, Hastert, Boehner, Scalia, Thomas, Santorum, Hannity, Bush, Coburn, Bolton, Roberts, Coleman, DeLay, Lott, Card, Stevens, Hughes, McCain, Matalin, Hutchison, Cheney, Hatch, Brownback, Limbaugh, Thune, Rove, DeWine, McClellan, Burns and whoever else you think oughtta be on the list: I say with all the due respect you've shown us: SCREW YOU!