Americans Aren't Dumb, We're Just a Little Slow
by Cenk Uygur

After the 2004 election, The Daily Mirror of Great Britain ran the famous headline: "How can 59,054,087 people be so DUMB?"

The Daily Mirror was wrong. We aren't dumb, we're just a little slow to adapt to the facts. This happens in every society. Trends, fashions and even facts take a while to reach the masses.

This is why some TV shows are popular after their best seasons are behind them. It's why Americans all over the country are wearing Ugg boots two years after they're already out of fashion (I know nothing about fashion, so I hope that analogy was correct - I'm still wearing clothes from the 80's, so that's how slow to adapt I am).

The markets almost always work, whether they are business, social or political markets. But they don't work instantly. It takes time to assimilate information. So, in 2006 it appears the political market has caught up to the facts. It's Bush who is an idiot, not Americans.

In 2000, half of all my friends and family were Republicans, including me. In 2006, none of us are. When you look back, that isn't even that long a stretch of time. It's just been a brutal six years, so it seems like it was an eternity. The facts caught up with us, and we are not alone.

I hope the world forgives us and sees the beating we are about to give the Republicans today in the polls as a sign of our remorse and our first step back toward the light. We plan to be the strong and just leaders of the free world again.

Of course, if the Republicans do not suffer heavy losses and retain control, I will have to take all this back. And perhaps the Daily Mirror can run another headline rightfully chastising us. Because this time around - we know. And if we let these guys back in control after we already knew what they were capable of - then it is entirely our fault. No more excuses. Today is the day. What message do you want to send?